Lambda the Ultimate

For immediate release. By studying the troves of open source software on the github service, a recent (and still unpublished) study by a team of empirical computer scientists found that programmers prefer to use DECENT languages. DECENT languages were defined by the team to be languages that conform to a set of minimal ethical standards, including clean syntax, expressive type systems, good package managers and installers, free implementations, no connection to the military-industrial complex and not harming animals. The researchers argue that their data support the view that the prevalent use of indecent languages, Java in particular, is the result of money influencing programmer decisions. The principal author of the study notes that DECENT languages do not necessarily make the most MORAL choices (e.g., many of them are not statically typed). He attributed this to a phenomenon called the "weakness of the will."

Details to follow.