The solution to all your troubles...

By ranking the importance of the criteria below, you can use this program to help you choose between ten of the most popular programming languages today, Java, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, PHP, Lisp/Scheme, C/C++, Perl, Python, or Ruby.

Take a look at the page source to see how the determination is done. Feel free to object to the weights used in the calculation.

It's a bit silly, I know, but it made me grin so I thought I'd share.

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AFAICT there is no way to get Lisp as the result, unless you put negative numbers in ease of learning or popularity.

Nihilistic Lisp

Try entering all zeros: Lisp is for people who don't care.

thats not exactly true.

thats not exactly true.

ease of learning the language 1
ease of using the language.... 20
speed of program execution.. 1
quality of available tools...... 1
popularity of the language.... 1
power and expressiveness...... 50
cross-platform availability.... 1
low cost of language tools..... 1
ease of client side web scripting. 1
ease of server side web scripting. 1

gives me lisp.

ease of learning the language = 1 ???

No wonder I gave up trying to learn Lisp then.

My quick input (attempting to be honest) gave me C/C++, which is accurate, as it happens.

I do not know why I was pleased to see that Visual Basic scored lowest on my profile. I suppose it is because the very name gives me the pip. Something to do with E.J. Djikstra (sp??)?